Perfectionism can be when college students grow up with highly involved parents. As a result, there may be more pressure to achieve perfect grades and high test scores than they can handle.
The Journal of Child and Family Studies revealed that the more parents intruded on their children’s academic lives as they grew up, the higher the students’ level of perfectionism became when they were attending college.
Perfectionism can negatively impact mental health and student success. Experts say it’s essential to understand this association between parental involvement and self-criticism in young adults.
Parents’ high goals may be creating unhealthy adult children
Unexpected findings reveal the link between overbearing parents and increased emotional issues among adult children.
The research, which surveyed more than 500 college students, suggests that parents with very high standards may unintentionally hurt their children by causing them undue stress and pressure.
Also, studies have shown that being a perfectionist is linked to having fewer social relationships and more anxiety, depression, and health problems.
Researchers are concerned that high standards could negatively impact adults’ emotional health even if they’re not particularly self-critical or introverted.
The study found a positive correlation between high goals set by parents at ages 15, 18 and 23. That extends to emotional insecurity about success at age 23 for adult children who grew up with those lofty goals.
setting unrealistically high goals for themselves as adults
The ideal way parents can help their kids set reasonable and attainable goals are by setting an example of realistic expectations. It means looking beyond Ivy League schools and elite careers.
Children need to see that things like taking a year off between high school and college or switching majors when pursuing a career aren’t catastrophic failures.
Such messages will help these students keep their eyes on what matters most. That is achieving success at every stage of life rather than focusing too much on obtaining one achievement.
It is like trying to get into an Ivy League school or landing a prestigious job. But, end up finding themselves unprepared for other challenges ahead.
Parents can also talk with their children about how they define success. They can open up about their fears of failure, which may inspire their children as they grow older.
Doing so will impart some wisdom about reaching adulthood without feeling weighed down by unrealistic expectations.
That is an invaluable lesson for any young adult embarking on their journey toward maturity.
College students are more likely to feel depressed and anxious if they struggle academically
Increased academic pressure from parents has been correlated with a rise in mental illness among college-aged young adults.
These findings are significant, given that anxiety and depression are growing concerns on university campuses across North America.
It suggests that stress from family factors is an independent risk factor for mental health problems among university students.
Psychologists specializing in family relationships drew some conclusion from this. Study participants who felt increased pressure from their parents experienced more symptoms of depression and anxiety. This was more than those who did not feel they were expected to perform better than others by their parents at school.
It is likely that a combination of factors, including parent education level and income contributes to these trends of mental illness.
Pushing your kids too hard can be harmful
A new study of psychology undergraduates at Cal State University, Northridge, shows a strong link between perfectionism and parental pushing.
The research was led by Richard Lee, an assistant professor of psychology at CSUN. He said that, despite a wealth of knowledge about what causes depression and anxiety among teens, very little is known about why some people are more susceptible than others.
If parents realize how much harm their high standards can cause, they will change their behavior toward their children. And if parents don’t modify their behavior, society may have to step in with other intervention programs.
So if you want your children who are still schooling to be happy and healthy, tell them it’s OK not to be perfect. It’s a hard lesson for parents because they want what is best for their kids.
What can parents do to help their children?
Every parent wants their children to succeed and want them to do well in life. However, they need to balance supporting and encouraging their children while not putting too much pressure on them.
While it is normal for parents to be proud of their children, it’s essential for them not to set unrealistic expectations and pressures on their kids.
Instead of focusing on grades or getting into particular schools, some say that a more holistic education would give students better preparation for adulthood.
The SAT is a big part of college entrance exams today. However, many think that SAT scores aren’t necessarily indicative of how good students are at college-level work. It should be used to measure potential applicants instead of the sole criteria for admission.
Parents should place more focus on helping their children develop their strengths and interests, like developing hobbies that can serve as learning opportunities.
They should teach their children to get into activities they enjoy and find interesting. These are more likely to make them feel good about themselves. Instead, of simply pushing them to succeed in what they see as important.
The most important thing parents can do is help their children develop self-confidence and learn how to think critically.
If your child is struggling with perfectionism, which affects his mental health, a professional psychologist can be helpful.