Do you ever feel that your friends and family criticize you relentlessly? If this sounds familiar, you may be dealing with traumatic narcissism in your relationships. This can make it hard to maintain strong connections.
This form of narcissism isn’t something everyone experiences on the same level. Though it exists on a spectrum from mild to extreme it can impact how people relate to one another.
Let’s look at what precisely traumatic narcissism is, the cause, and how this harmful personality type impacts people.
Symptoms of Traumatic Narcissism
Getting too close can be a dangerous game, especially if you’re dealing with a person with traumatic narcissism traits.
It is characterized by an inability to connect emotionally with others or care about anyone except themselves. Their suffering becomes secondary, even inconsequential, as they move from one self-inflicted trauma to another
It is essential not to let them manipulate your emotions to preserve their fragile ego.
Outlined below are common signs of traumatic narcissism and what you can do if someone you love exhibits them.
- Unreasonable emotional demands
- Unreasonable expectations of loyalty and support
- Extreme jealousy and paranoia
- An inability to empathize with others
- A tendency toward extreme verbal abuse or physical violence
- An unwillingness to accept responsibility for their actions or apologize for mistakes
- A constant need for attention, affirmation, and praise from others at all costs
What is traumatic narcissism?
This occurs when a child experiences ongoing emotional abuse and neglect at the hands of their parents or caregivers.
This experience can have devastating effects on the child’s emotional health. It can also affect their relationships with others in the future.
Children who suffer from traumatic narcissism struggle with low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression. As adults, they may have trouble forming intimate relationships and have problems taking the initiative at work.
Unfortunately, it can be challenging to spot traumatic narcissism in children. This is because it looks similar to other mental health conditions, such as depression and anxiety.
Causes of Traumatic Narcissism
Traumatic narcissism often develops during a sensitive period of childhood development, intricately linked to experiences of childhood trauma. If a child receives nothing but praise from their parents, they may develop no sense of accountability—a characteristic often associated with narcissism. This constant praise can prevent the child from appreciating other people’s emotions and perspectives.
Moreover, if parents fail to acknowledge that their child has flaws or does something wrong, those children may grow up thinking that everything is always someone else’s fault. Such dynamics, rooted in childhood trauma, can foster the development of narcissism, reinforcing a skewed sense of self and a lack of empathy for others.
What sets traumatic narcissists apart from your average narcissist is fueled by rage over never being acknowledged as flawed human beings (or children).
They have deep-seated anger and need constant validation to feel good about themselves – which can lead them into abusive relationships or violent tendencies later in life.
Treatment for Traumatic Narcissism
Although there’s no single type of treatment proven most effective for traumatic narcissism, those that include cognitive-behavioral therapy are often promising.
For example, one study found that when CBT was combined with eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR), both conditions was found to have significant improvements in symptoms.
Another study tested whether or not traumatic narcissists could change their behaviors through therapy.
The researchers concluded that cognitive approaches directed at increasing empathy and insight into attachment experience might be beneficial in treating these individuals.
As always, it’s best if you find a licensed therapist who can develop a treatment plan based on your individual needs.
Can I Save My Relationship With a Traumatic Narcissist?
A trauma narcissist is not someone who’s been diagnosed with NPD. Instead, it’s someone whose way of being in relationships resembles narcissistic personality disorder.
Many people want to know if they can fix or change a trauma narcissist. But, these individuals are unlikely to undergo significant behavioral changes.
First, you need to understand how traumatized narcissists think. It will help you take steps to protect yourself and minimize your exposure.
By creating some healthy boundaries, you may be able to enjoy healthier relationship interactions.
Letting go of your old fantasies of having a perfect partner might be challenging. Try not to get lost in them — keep your eye on safety instead.
What can traumatic narcissists do?
It’s crucial to identify what type of narcissist you are dealing with, as each type requires a different approach. It can be difficult, but not impossible to change a narcissist’s behavior.
That means there are steps you can take in your own life and relationships that will make a difference. Seek help by speaking with a professional about how you can set boundaries and regain your sense of self-worth.
Conclusion
Post-traumatic narcissism is not a mental illness despite what you may have read or heard. Therapy from an expert in this field can do a lot of good.
However, the symptoms of traumatic narcissism are directly related to how that individual was raised. Therefore, they can change their behaviors over time and reduce their negative impact on those around them.