We all have them—the difficult family members who can be a source of stress, anxiety or tension.
Whether it’s a sibling, parent, grandparent, cousin, or in-law, dealing with difficult family members can be challenging.
But it’s important to remember that there are steps you can take to make the situation more manageable.
In this article, I will discuss seven (7) tips for dealing with difficult family members.
Don’t try to change them
Trying to change difficult family members might be appealing. You might be frustrated by their actions or think you have the perfect solution for how they should act or behave.
But in reality, it’s impossible to change someone else. It is ultimately up to that person to make changes, no matter how much you love them or how hard you try.
Instead of trying to change them, it’s better to focus on understanding them. Listen when they’re talking and try to see things from their perspective.
Showing empathy and compassion can go a long way toward building a stronger relationship with that person. It won’t always be easy, but you can get through it with patience and understanding.
Set boundaries
Setting boundaries with difficult family members is one of the most important steps in managing your relationship with them. You set boundaries with your family members to protect your personal space, time, and energy.
In addition, establishing boundaries can help prevent future conflict and make it easier to manage existing issues. When setting boundaries, be clear and direct. You should explain what you will and will not tolerate from the other person.
It is also essential to express your expectations in a calm and non-confrontational manner. This will help the other person understand that you are serious about setting boundaries.
You should also be prepared for resistance from difficult family members. Don’t give in if the other person does not respect your boundaries.
Instead, reiterate your expectations calmly and firmly. It’s important to remember that setting boundaries are about protecting yourself, not trying to control the other person.
Finally, be prepared for the possibility that your boundaries may not be respected. If this happens, stay firm in your commitment to protecting yourself. Difficult family members may test your limits, but you don’t have to tolerate any behavior that makes you feel uncomfortable or unsafe.
Keep communication short and sweet
When dealing with difficult family members, it’s essential to keep communication as brief as possible. This can help you avoid getting drawn into arguments or prolonged conversations that can worsen the situation.
If you feel like the conversation is escalating, be prepared to end it abruptly. Make sure to be polite and firm in your decision. For example, you could say, “I understand what you are saying, but I think it would be best if we talked about this another time.”
Try not to give too much information in response to their questions. It’s okay to be brief and answer with just a few words. If the conversation is getting heated, remind yourself that it’s okay to take a break from it.
If you have to communicate with the family member via text or email, use short, concise sentences and don’t get into a back-and-forth argument. Instead of engaging in a lengthy discussion about the issue, simply state your position politely and then move on.
Avoid hot topics
Dealing with difficult family members can be emotionally taxing, so it’s important to avoid topics likely to cause a heated argument.
If you know, there’s a topic of conversation that tends to lead to an argument, avoid bringing it up. Instead, stick to neutral topics less likely to trigger an emotional reaction.
If someone brings up a hot topic you know is likely to result in an argument, try to steer the conversation away from it as quickly and politely as possible.
Don’t take their bait
It can be tempting to take the bait when a difficult family member says something to push your buttons or elicit a reaction.
But it is important to remember that this person is looking for a response, and if you give them one, they will likely continue to provoke you.
So instead of letting yourself get drawn into an argument or conflict, take a deep breath and remind yourself that you have a choice in how you respond.
Do your best to stay calm and focused on communicating your message without getting pulled into a battle of words. Don’t let the situation escalate by taking their bait; instead, focus on staying level-headed and finding a peaceful solution.
Remember, you can’t control them
One of the most crucial things to remember when dealing with difficult family members is that you cannot control them.
No matter how hard you try, you cannot change their behavior, thoughts, or feelings. You only have control over how you respond to them.
Therefore, when faced with difficult family members, it is important to remember that it is okay to distance yourself from them if needed.
Focus on the positive
In facing difficult family members, it is essential to focus on positivity. This may seem difficult, especially if there are many negative traits you are dealing with. Nonetheless, it is important to remember that these people are your family and that you love them.
Getting lost in the negative traits is easy, but focusing on the positives allows you to remain more level-headed when dealing with them.
Even if your family member has a lot of difficult traits, think of something they do well or something they have done for you in the past. These moments of positivity will help you stay grounded during stressful times.
Additionally, focusing on your family members’ positive aspects can help you relate to them better. Instead of seeing their difficulties as problems, look at them as an opportunity to build empathy and understanding.
By taking the time to understand where they are coming from and the reasons behind their difficult behavior, you can build a stronger relationship with them.
Finally, focusing on the positives helps maintain a sense of hope. By looking for the good in others and being optimistic about their potential to change, you can maintain healthy boundaries and keep a positive attitude toward your relationship with them.
I hope these tips help you and if you ever need to talk to a psychologist about stress, anxiety, depression or even about your marriage, you seek expert help by clicking here.