Have you ever thought about visiting a marriage counselor due to the turn of events in your marriage?
Every couple has disagreements. For some, it’s money issues but for others, it’s a lack of sex life or a habit of continual conflict. And the pandemic also introduced yet another stressors.
More time spent at home together has heighten tensions or uncover latent flaws in a relationship. Marriage counseling can save your marriage. It is not about pointing fingers or determining who did what or who is to blame.
Instead, “marriage counseling can just be what your marriage needs to turn the clock around,” says Charles Davenport, a relationship and marriage counselor in Sarasota, FL.
The American Psychological Association reports that over 75% of couples seeking marriage counseling say it improved their marriages.
“Several couples tell me that it only during counseling hours they get during the week where they’re completely focused on each other,” Swapnil Gohil says.
Many couples suffer for years before seeking counseling; it is always preferable to get help early. The longer unhealthy behavior and bitter sentiments persist, the more difficult it is to change them.
A significant roadblock to receiving marital help is when just one partner in a relationship wants to change.
Sometimes someone may come in who is eager to do the work, but the partner is not. Ultimately both partners must participate.
As a Licensed Psychologist at Davenport Psychology, I often get asked by clients whether marriage therapy or couples counseling may be beneficial in helping them to improve their relationship with their spouse or partner.
The answer may surprise you! Here are seven reasons why getting marriage counseling might be an option worth considering in your situation.
Why You Need Marriage Counseling
1. You’ve grown apart
One of the reasons people seek marriage counseling is that they’ve grown apart. Unfortunately, while it may sound obvious, couples fail to sit down and talk about what they need from one another.
For some couples, that’s a quick way to end up in marriage counseling. It’s hard to grow closer if you don’t first figure out what your partner needs and wants from you. That will help you bring your relationship together again.
After all, most people don’t want their relationships to end and need help getting back on track. But unfortunately, not every couple who goes into marriage counseling do so with their eyes open to why they’re there.
If you’ve been married for some time or have children with your spouse, it’s essential to make sure that you aren’t going into therapy as a last-ditch effort because you think divorce is inevitable.
2. You Clash About Money
If finances are a bone of contention in your relationship, it may be time to see a marriage counselor. These problems could be rooted in your respective attitudes towards money.
Many couples disagree about how much their paychecks should go towards discretionary spending and debt reduction.
If you can’t figure out how to share these goals equally, it might be good to talk with someone who has experience guiding couples through money matters.
Getting on track with your financial future is essential for every couple, and if you feel like you’re not on the same page, perhaps it’s time to seek some professional help.
3. Someone Has Been Unfaithful
The desire to cheat is a difficult one for some people to resist. But unfortunately, there are many reasons people decide to be unfaithful, including dissatisfaction with their sex life, feeling disconnected from their partner or spouse, or simply wanting something new and exciting in their lives.
No matter why it happens, affairs are a significant deal-breaker for many couples who need marriage counseling after infidelity. If you think your partner is cheating outside your marriage, ensure you have all your facts straight before confronting them.
It’s common for someone to claim they were talking when confronted about an affair—but that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. If you think your relationship may have been negatively impacted by infidelity, get help before things escalate further.
4. You love life’s lacking
Some people have a mediocre sex life. But, according to McManus, years of performing the same thing in the sack might make sex less satisfying.
Sometimes one spouse is too exhausted to have sex, and having sex feels like another thing to check off the to-do list. In addition, medical difficulties, drug side effects, and physical changes, such as menopause, can all make sex unpleasant for some couples.
However, little intimacies, such as a peck on the cheek, listening to your spouse’s experiences, and small acts of kindness, maybe significant in making you and your spouse feel connected.
Many couples are loving and emotionally attached but not sexually intimate.
How Our Marriage Counselors Here At Davenport Can Help
Psychologists help people understand and change their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. For example, one of our therapists in Davenport can help you learn healthy ways to deal with stress instead of turning to alcohol or drugs.
If your spouse is using substances or physically or emotionally abusing you, marriage counseling can help you work through that problem.
In marriage counseling, you’ll both learn how to communicate more effectively with each other so that neither of you feels ignored or taken for granted. In addition, our therapists are all fully trained in family systems therapy and cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), a tool for changing how we think about things and act differently on them.
We also have special training in helping couples who are dealing with infidelity. Infidelity happens when someone has sex outside of their relationship, but it’s not just sex that makes it an affair.
It could be emotional intimacy, like sharing secrets or spending time together outside of your relationship. Whatever form it takes, infidelity is devastating to relationships and needs to be dealt with immediately.
Our relationship and marriage counselors will help you figure out what happened and why to address any underlying issues within yourself and determine whether you want to try again or move on from your relationship.
So, if you and your partner lives in Sarasota, Florida, do reach out to us, and we’ll be delighted to help you achieve a happier and more fulfilling marriage.