Importance of Teaching Children Emotional Regulation

close up photography of a baby

As parents, we often focus on teaching our children academic and physical skills, but we may overlook the importance of teaching them emotional regulation. Emotional regulation is the ability to manage and control one’s emotions in a healthy and appropriate manner. It is a crucial skill for children to learn as it can impact their overall emotional development and well-being. In this article, we will discuss the importance of teaching children emotional regulation and provide some tips on how to do so effectively.

Emotional Development

Child expressing emotions

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Emotional regulation is a key component of emotional development in children. It allows them to understand and manage their emotions, which can lead to better self-awareness and self-control. Children who are able to regulate their emotions are more likely to have positive relationships, perform better in school, and have higher levels of emotional intelligence.

What is Emotional Development in Children?

Emotional development refers to the ability to recognize, express, and manage feelings at different stages of life and to have empathy for the feelings of others. For children, it involves learning what feelings and emotions are, understanding how and why they happen, recognizing one’s own feelings and those of others, and developing effective ways of managing them.

Expected Milestones in Emotional Development

Here are some general milestones that children may reach during their emotional development:

  1. Infancy (0-2 years): Babies start to develop a social smile around 2 months of age and begin to laugh aloud around 4-5 months. They can show joy, anger, sadness, and fear in response to different stimuli and situations.
  2. Toddlerhood (2-3 years): Toddlers start to recognize and identify their own emotions and those of others. They begin to develop empathy and can show concern for others.
  3. Preschool (3-5 years): Preschoolers start to understand the concept of rules and can express a wide range of emotions. They can also begin to manage their emotions better, often through play.
  4. School Age (6-12 years): School-age children have a better understanding of complex emotions like pride, shame, guilt, and embarrassment. They can understand that people can have mixed feelings about a situation.
  5. Adolescence (13-18 years): Adolescents can understand that feelings can be conflicting and can change over time. They can also understand long-term and abstract feelings like moral guilt.

Differing Schools of Thought on Child Emotional Development

There are several theories or schools of thought regarding emotional development in children:

  1. Psychoanalytic Theory (Sigmund Freud): This theory suggests that emotional development is driven by unconscious processes and is heavily influenced by early childhood experiences.
  2. Erikson’s Psychosocial Theory: Erik Erikson proposed that individuals pass through eight developmental stages, each with its own psychosocial conflict that contributes to a major aspect of personality. Each stage has its own emotional development aspect.
  3. Social Learning Theory (Albert Bandura): This theory emphasizes the role of observational learning, imitation, and modeling in emotional development.
  4. Attachment Theory (John Bowlby): This theory focuses on the importance of “attachment” in personal development. Bowlby suggested that children who form strong bonds with their caregivers have a secure base from which they can explore the world.
  5. Ecological Systems Theory (Urie Bronfenbrenner): This theory views child development within the context of the system of relationships that form their environment.

Each of these theories provides a different perspective on child emotional development, and they all contribute to our understanding of how children’s emotions evolve and how best to support their emotional well-being.

Remember, every child is unique and may reach these emotional milestones at their own pace. It’s important to provide a nurturing and supportive environment that allows children to express their emotions freely and learn how to manage them effectively.

Coping with Stress and Anxiety

Teaching children emotional regulation can also help them cope with stress and anxiety. By learning how to regulate their emotions, children can develop healthy coping mechanisms to deal with difficult situations. This can prevent them from turning to unhealthy behaviors such as aggression or avoidance. It also allows them to better manage their emotions during times of stress, leading to a more positive and resilient mindset.

Teaching children emotional regulation skills is a key aspect of children’s development. It equips them with the ability to manage their emotions effectively, which in turn helps them cope with stress and anxiety. By learning how to regulate their emotions, children can develop healthy coping mechanisms to deal with difficult situations. This can prevent them from resorting to unhealthy behaviors such as aggression or avoidance. It also enables them to better manage their emotions during times of stress, fostering a more positive and resilient mindset.

Different Ideas about Emotion Regulation 

  1. Psychoanalytic Theory (Sigmund Freud): According to Freud, emotional regulation is linked to the child’s ability to manage the id, ego, and superego. Teaching children emotional regulation skills can help balance these aspects of their personality, leading to healthier coping mechanisms.
  2. Erikson’s Psychosocial Theory: Erikson emphasized the importance of social relationships in emotional development. Teaching emotional regulation can help children navigate these relationships more effectively, reducing stress and anxiety.
  3. Social Learning Theory (Albert Bandura): Bandura’s theory suggests that children learn by observing others. Therefore, modeling healthy emotional regulation can teach children effective ways to cope with their own emotions.
  4. Attachment Theory (John Bowlby): Secure attachment is associated with better emotional regulation. By teaching children how to express and manage their emotions, we can foster stronger attachments and improve their ability to cope with stress and anxiety.
  5. Ecological Systems Theory (Urie Bronfenbrenner): This theory suggests that a child’s environment plays a significant role in their emotional development. Schools and families can create supportive environments that teach and reinforce emotional regulation skills.

Improved Social Skills

Emotional regulation is essential for developing strong social skills. Children who are able to regulate their emotions are better equipped to handle conflicts and communicate effectively with others. They are also more empathetic and understanding of others’ emotions, which can lead to stronger and more meaningful relationships. By teaching children emotional regulation, we are helping them build the foundation for healthy and successful social interactions.

Tips for Teaching Emotional Regulation

Child practicing emotional regulation

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Now that we understand the importance of teaching children emotional regulation, here are some tips for how to do so effectively:

Model Appropriate Emotional Regulation

Children learn by observing their parents and caregivers. It is important to model healthy emotional regulation by managing your own emotions in a positive and constructive manner. This can include taking deep breaths, using positive self-talk, and finding healthy ways to cope with stress.

Teach Emotion Identification

Help your child identify and label their emotions. This can be done through activities such as creating an emotions chart or using feeling words to describe their emotions. By understanding and labeling their emotions, children can better regulate them.

Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a powerful tool for teaching emotional regulation. Encourage your child to take a few moments each day to focus on their breath and be present in the moment. This can help them become more aware of their emotions and learn how to regulate them.

Use Positive Reinforcement

When your child successfully regulates their emotions, praise and reinforce their behavior. This will encourage them to continue practicing emotional regulation and reinforce its importance.

By teaching children emotional regulation, we are setting them up for success in all aspects of their lives. It is a crucial skill that can lead to improved emotional development, coping skills, and social interactions. By implementing these tips, we can help our children become emotionally intelligent and resilient individuals.

References

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Author: Charles R. Davenport, Psy. D.

Dr. Charles R. Davenport is a Licensed Psychologist who provides counseling and therapy to individuals of all ages dealing with career stress (https://davenportpsychology.com/tag/career-stress/), depression, anxiety, communication, and relationship problems. His therapeutic approach integrates psychodynamic and interpersonal theories to help patients find change and relief.